Blog Hop 2015: The Best Twist (Fan Theories)

                        

The plot twist is the ultimate gotcha:  Firm perspectives become shattered, up becomes down, virtue becomes sin.  Or at least that’s the intent.  But it’s hard to keep the wool over the audience’s peepers anymore.  They know the playbook, like when a character that was supposedly killed but never found will certainly turn up before act 3.  (I’m giving you the Steven Seagal squint, Dexter Season 8)

   "Emits judo kicks from eyeballs"   

Of course, there are the indelible ones, the most clever and effective twists that set the bar meteorically high:  The Sixth Sense (Bruce Willis’s been pulling the Ghost Dad act the whole movie with less pudding), Citizen’s Kane’s Rosebud actually being a sled, The Usual Suspects (When the guy walks away….and the…erm….I’m still not entirely sure about that one) and The Empire Strikes Back (Luke, you kissed your sister! Or something like that.)

But the some of the most interesting twists of recent years haven’t come from the celluloid, the pages of a book, or a disc.  It’s been the internet, that wonderful and yet terrifying virtual basement of people’s ideas and expressions. The perfect breeding grounds for fan theories. 

Fan theories are on the same level as the eccentric, unscrupulous guy with wispy hair and a mangled salt -pepper beard that spends his days starring at people from the back of a gas station he as sips on something that could be coffee, but you know deep down is more than likely chew juice.  You only get to know either one if you want a shot of craziness and unwieldy, worthless knowledge.  Additionally, both can only survive in the realm of logic and reality very, very briefly before breaking down. 

But the ultimate point is that they’re breezy fun.  (Except for that guy in the gas station.  You should probably stay away.  And then carry pepper spray.  And Lysol.  Actually, just go ahead and move.) 

Here are my favorite ones. With links!

1. The Karate Kid (Original) – Ralph is actually the villain https://youtu.be/C_Gz_iTuRMM

                                 

Okay, so this is more of a skewed analysis rather than a theory.  And if you’re distracted, drunk, or extremely out of it, this might latch onto your brain longer than it warrants.  Basically, the speaker argues that Ralph is actually the bully in the film and not the victim.  Even better, Mr. Miyagi is then purported as this irresponsible enabler of Ralph who calls upon some dark, ninth circle of hell un-holiness to heal Ralph during the big tournament.  Good stuff.

2. Star Wars – Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord. https://www.reddit.com/comments/3qvj6w

                                  

No elongated, quirky commentary here.  I don’t want to distract from the insanity this theory spews forth.  Like, spewing of the “I think I ate some bad New England Clam Chowder” variety.  

3. The Simpsons – Homer Simpson has actually been in a coma for most of the show’s run. https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/2usu70/the_simpsons_homer_simpson_is_a_vegetable_in_a/

                                             

I actually like this one a lot.  It sounds like an episode that would run on the Simpsons.  Albeit, one from the newer, lesser quality seasons.  But a good one nonetheless.  Somewhere between half the quality of “Monorail” and pure suck.

4. Game of Thrones (Books and TV Show) – Jon Snow Theory

                                     

Since this theory actually has more weight behind it than the others on this list, I’ll tread lightly for the sake of people prone to seething rage when encountering spoilers out of the blue.  I’ll just leave out the really, really integral stuff. 

The theory posits that Ned Stark …………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………..………………………..………crazy, violent horse people………………………………Strong familial  bonds…………………………………...dragon babies ………………………………………………… ……………..……………………………...prostitutes, prostitutes everywhere………………… ………………… ………………… ……………………………………………………ice zombies……………………………… ………………………......................................................................………..…………….………skull used as a wine cup  …………………………………………………………… ……… ……… ……….Hodor!......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................The Hound!...........................................................................................................................collecting faces, dropping names................more ice zombies ..................……………… ……………………………………………………… …………………………………Sansa pouts………………………………………………………………….and then everyone kills everyone else.

So go ahead and google some of your favorite shows, books, movies, videos games, etc. and see if someone has constructed an off kilter theory about them.  More than likely they have, and you won’t be able to un-see it.  Or un-think it.

                                  

Guest Writer: Caroline Fardig

You’ve written a novel.  Well, congratulations.  Now what?!?

“Now what?”  That’s one of the most terrifying questions one can ask of himself or herself.  I distinctly remember four instances in my life when those two little words scared the living crap out of me.

The first time it happened was the day after I graduated from college.  I had a teaching degree, so that meant I had no job to go to the next day, because the hiring process for the following school year wouldn’t start until mid-summer.  I remember wondering what in the world I should do with myself until I was able to apply for a job.  Should I go out and get a short-term job at McDonald’s in the meantime?  Maybe something at the mall?  Because let’s face it—a teaching degree is worth absolutely nothing in the search for a summer job. 

The next time it hit me was after my husband and I got home from our honeymoon.  Real, adult life started sinking in, and I realized that “now what” meant laundry, cleaning, cooking, and paying bills—things that my parents had previously taken care of for me.  This particular “now what” was a major buzzkill.

The third “now what” came when we got home from the hospital with my first child.  What in the heck were you supposed to do with a baby?  Hold him all day while he slept?  That sounded kind of boring.  Here’s the thing about babies—after they’re a couple of days old, they kind of “wake up” and are never still again.  Or quiet.  That “now what” worked itself out.  I didn’t have the same “now what” feeling after I had my second child.  I was already a mom with a busy schedule, and the new baby just had to fit into it—no time for sitting around and watching her sleep.

My most recent “now what” was after I finished my first novel, IT’S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH.  I had said everything I wanted to say, the way I wanted to say it, and I was satisfied with it.  Sooooo…now what?  What do you do with a novel?  Will anyone want to read it?  Do I want anyone to read it?  What if it’s horrible and someone points that out?  But…what if it’s not horrible, and I should do something with it and try to get it published?  And how in the world do you go about getting a book published?  I asked myself all of those questions, had a mild panic attack, and put my book aside for a few months.

Finally deciding to man up, I gave it to a couple of people to read and a couple of other people to edit.  I got a lot of constructive criticism and a lot of urging to take the next step.  I queried a few agents, not really getting anywhere, and got discouraged and quit, putting my book aside yet again.  Several months later, my husband read an article about self-publishing through Amazon, and I decided to give it a look.  I liked what I saw (especially the part where there’s no upfront fees, Amazon just takes a percentage of each book sold), and, after much whining about having to make a lot of manual formatting changes to make it Kindle-worthy (something I could have done with one or two clicks if I’d known before starting the writing process, a mistake I won’t make again), I sent my little labor of love out into cyberspace to compete with a zillion other books for readers’ attention.  With that one last little click, I felt like I had finally become a “real” writer.

Now, I’m not expecting to become the next JK Rowling, here—I’m a realist.  I know that only a handful of those zillion books become New York Times Bestsellers.  For me, it’s more about the sense of accomplishment that I wrote a novel, published it all by myself, and actually had some people whom I’ve never met read it.  When people ask me what I do, I can say proudly, “I’m a writer”. 

So you’ve written a novel, too.  Well, congratulations.  Now what?!?  Do you want to share it with the rest of the world?  You should—you worked hard, and you should be proud of your accomplishment.  Now you have to decide whether to query some agents and publishers and go the traditional route or strike out on your own and go the indie route.  Do some research and decide which is best for you, and go for it.  If one route doesn’t work out—try the other!  Don’t give up.  You can’t sell a novel that’s hidden in your computer or in a drawer somewhere.  And who knows?  Maybe you are the next JK Rowling, and you just don’t know it yet!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

CAROLINE FARDIG was born and raised in a small town in Indiana. Her working career has been rather eclectic thus far, with occupations including schoolteacher, church organist, insurance agent, funeral parlor associate, and stay-at-home mom. Finally realizing that she wants to be a writer when she grows up, Caroline has completed her first novel, IT’S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH, and is currently hard at work churning out a second novel in the series. She still lives in that same small town with an understanding husband, two sweet kids, two energetic dogs, and one malevolent cat.

MY SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS

Visit my website and blog at www.carolinefardig.com.

Tweet to me on Twitter (@carolinefardig) and Facebook me here:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Caroline-Fardig/496944767049778.

Book buy links:

IT’S JUST A LITTLE CRUSH is on sale for $0.99 for a limited time.  Get your copy today!

Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Little-Crush-Lizzie-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00B7T1DIG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363021782&sr=8-1&keywords=caroline+fardig

Barnes & Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/its-just-a-little-crush-caroline-fardig/1115238564?ean=2940148471011

So.......

The most integral part of anything under the sun and the stars is its niche: it's reason for being, it's focus. So when I was sitting around in my Xbox pjs not doing anything productive, I began to feel my brain click and pop in an attempt to start working. Thirty wasted minutes and three jumbo marshmallows later, I realized that I really don't have focus for any of my aspirations. Sure, sometimes I feel my pride swell with fire, and then I might say "Hey, look at me: a writer in the making". And then people might give me a thumbs up, a simple head nod, and then walk away. And then I had to go play Xbox non-stop for the next three days. Rinse and repeat, and you have the last couple years of my existence.



So I've been a little peeved off with my aimless wandering through ADD land as of lately. Which leads me to this blog and its purpose. For the last few weeks, I've finally begun working on an outline for my book. As a little kick in the ass, I'm sharing my progress with anyone who's willing to waste their time reading this and other future verbal concoctions. I'm planning on this blog to capture the behind the scenes thoughts that will go the fodder known as my writing. Hopefully this will stay around par and not become the verbal equivalent of rabbit pellets. Only time and myself can tell.

As for the title of this blog, it's a statement about the expectations of being writer. If you go around with that proclamation surging out of your vocal box, you might just lead people to believe that you bleed clever mashups of words and witty twists on the conventional. This blog is not about meeting the expectations of myself and others, but just producing something. Even if it doesn't turn out to be worthwhile.