Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Blog Hop 2015: The Best Twist (Fan Theories)

                        


The plot twist is the ultimate gotcha:  Firm perspectives become shattered, up becomes down, virtue becomes sin.  Or at least that’s the intent.  But it’s hard to keep the wool over the audience’s peepers anymore.  They know the playbook, like when a character that was supposedly killed but never found will certainly turn up before act 3.  (I’m giving you the Steven Seagal squint, Dexter Season 8)

Image result for intense steven seagal stare   "Emits judo kicks from eyeballs"    Image result for dexter season 8

Of course, there are the indelible ones, the most clever and effective twists that set the bar meteorically high:  The Sixth Sense (Bruce Willis’s been pulling the Ghost Dad act the whole movie with less pudding), Citizen’s Kane’s Rosebud actually being a sled, The Usual Suspects (When the guy walks away….and the…erm….I’m still not entirely sure about that one) and The Empire Strikes Back (Luke, you kissed your sister! Or something like that.)

But the some of the most interesting twists of recent years haven’t come from the celluloid, the pages of a book, or a disc.  It’s been the internet, that wonderful and yet terrifying virtual basement of people’s ideas and expressions. The perfect breeding grounds for fan theories. 

Fan theories are on the same level as the eccentric, unscrupulous guy with wispy hair and a mangled salt -pepper beard that spends his days starring at people from the back of a gas station he as sips on something that could be coffee, but you know deep down is more than likely chew juice.  You only get to know either one if you want a shot of craziness and unwieldy, worthless knowledge.  Additionally, both can only survive in the realm of logic and reality very, very briefly before breaking down. 

But the ultimate point is that they’re breezy fun.  (Except for that guy in the gas station.  You should probably stay away.  And then carry pepper spray.  And Lysol.  Actually, just go ahead and move.) 

Here are my favorite ones. With links!

1. The Karate Kid (Original) – Ralph is actually the villain https://youtu.be/C_Gz_iTuRMM

                                 
Okay, so this is more of a skewed analysis rather than a theory.  And if you’re distracted, drunk, or extremely out of it, this might latch onto your brain longer than it warrants.  Basically, the speaker argues that Ralph is actually the bully in the film and not the victim.  Even better, Mr. Miyagi is then purported as this irresponsible enabler of Ralph who calls upon some dark, ninth circle of hell un-holiness to heal Ralph during the big tournament.  Good stuff.

2. Star Wars – Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord. https://www.reddit.com/comments/3qvj6w

                                  

No elongated, quirky commentary here.  I don’t want to distract from the insanity this theory spews forth.  Like, spewing of the “I think I ate some bad New England Clam Chowder” variety.  

3. The Simpsons – Homer Simpson has actually been in a coma for most of the show’s run. https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/2usu70/the_simpsons_homer_simpson_is_a_vegetable_in_a/

                                             

I actually like this one a lot.  It sounds like an episode that would run on the Simpsons.  Albeit, one from the newer, lesser quality seasons.  But a good one nonetheless.  Somewhere between half the quality of “Monorail” and pure suck.


4. Game of Thrones (Books and TV Show) – Jon Snow Theory
                                     Image result for george rr martin shush

Since this theory actually has more weight behind it than the others on this list, I’ll tread lightly for the sake of people prone to seething rage when encountering spoilers out of the blue.  I’ll just leave out the really, really integral stuff. 


The theory posits that Ned Stark …………………………………… ………………………………………… …………………..………………………..………crazy, violent horse people………………………………Strong familial  bonds…………………………………...dragon babies ………………………………………………… ……………..……………………………...prostitutes, prostitutes everywhere………………… ………………… ………………… ……………………………………………………ice zombies……………………………… ………………………......................................................................………..…………….………skull used as a wine cup  …………………………………………………………… ……… ……… ……….Hodor!......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................The Hound!...........................................................................................................................collecting faces, dropping names................more ice zombies ..................……………… ……………………………………………………… …………………………………Sansa pouts………………………………………………………………….and then everyone kills everyone else.


So go ahead and google some of your favorite shows, books, movies, videos games, etc. and see if someone has constructed an off kilter theory about them.  More than likely they have, and you won’t be able to un-see it.  Or un-think it.

                                  Image result for scary things come from the internet meme


2 comments:

  1. Fun post. I heard of some of those theories on the Internet too. I was hoping that all 6 seasons of Glee would be in Will Schuester's head, but that was asking too much. It was just getting too bizarre at the end.

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  2. Thanks for participating in the Twister Blog Hop! I have never heard these theories before, but the one about The Karate Kid makes me giggle.

    My fan theory- and I may be the only one who ever thought this- was that Harry Potter really was sent to the School for The Criminally Insane or whatever it was called and that he imagined Hogwarts and everyone he met. (Is that more dangerous than admitting I don't watch Game Of Thrones?)

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